Message to my nephew who got 2 puppies

Drew & Savanna- Y'all have let the Texas heat go to yer brains, child! Whaddaya thinkin'???? Cute, sure. Mischievous, you betcha. But they's gonna grow up to be TWO BIG SMELLY, HAIR SHEDDIN' FLATULATIN' POOPIN' beasts!!! Y'are crazy!!!
Seriously, they are too cute. And now you have a reason to keep your jobs, never leave the house without them, wake every morning at the crack of dawn when THEY decide they want out and generally turn your lives over to a being that has a brain 1/4 the size of yours but somehow knows more!!
And remember when they chew the remote and your shoes and the CDs you left out, and when they dig up the entire acre of plants you spent ALL weekend digging and planting, and when they tear holes in the screen door cuz they want out, they don't mean to be bad, they just can't help themselves.
And everyone lies. Dogs are not "just like having kids." Dogs you can leave outside all day (unless you live somewhere godforsaken, like Texas), dogs will be OK if you forget to feed them once or twice. Dogs will self-entertain for a long, long time. Dogs will not pretend to be potty trained then change their mind, while they are sitting in your lap. Dogs will not make you get up 6 times in the night for months at a time. Dogs do not have an uncanny ability to know when you are really in a hurry and stage a meltdown 5 minutes before you are about to walk out the door. Dogs don't projectile vomit down your front and back & sides, leaving you to wonder how a stomach so theoretically small could possibly hold that much. Dogs won't say to their teacher "Mommy hit me." Dogs don't announce during a quiet moment, "That man has a penis. He has a penis. HE HAS A PENIS, doesn't he momma????!!!" Dogs won't ever say that the busboy is "ugly" leaving you to wonder in which plate he's going to hok a huge looey. Dogs don't turn into teenagers, they just get old and start behaving like your parents- whining and arthritic. Insisting that they must stay right next to you every moment you are around.
Congrats! And, get them and you trained. I think you're going to need it!!