Therapy

I made the appointment for us both to go. When I spoke to her she said it's better to start off as a couple versus starting as an individual and then trying to fold the other into the mix. Too much potential for bias. The main question that I need to answer is do I stay or do I go? And within that there are so many permutations... How did it come to this? It all started after the baby came and I had the disturbing realization that this was not going to be a 50/50 partnership. The domestic stuff, typically left to the one with the vagina, was going to be my stuff and that was the full gamut of housewifery, on top of a FT job. The ADD didn't help for when I expressed my needs, requested help, voiced observations, it was impossible for him to retain. Every day is a brand new day and it seemed that he was unable to learn. Eventually the frustration and anger settled into my bones and I began to wonder if maybe it wasn't really ADD, but passive agressive behavior. He was able to retain things for sailing and work, but not for me? Huh! And just because there wasn't enough for us to deal with add in his mother and her insanity. We tried therapy before. I agreed to it if he agreed to medicate for ADD. We had an agreement. He decided, unbeknownst to me, that the drugs were making him feel like shit, and stopped taking them. There was no discussion about it, no follow-up with any professionals, just done. We continued therapy for a few sessions, until I discovered he'd stopped taking the meds. So I quit. Pointless exercise. And one day in the heat of an argument he disclosed that he'd never shared his true feelings in therapy, that he thought he would let me do all the sharing and he could somehow passively "participate." And the realization that I really could not trust him started to set in. And then I caught him in more lies, and made a declaration that if he lied to me again it was over. And he did, so I have completely shut down.

The ADD makse communication pointless. He won't retain what I've said so why bother. It's quite daunting.